HS Chapter 59: The hopeless sister gets slapped.

“(Mumble, Mumble, Mumble) Seriously… I can’t believe it…”

“Ehm… Koma…?”

I left the three pick-ups to Aunty and Editor-san, and Koma led me by holding my hand. She is usually soft-spoken and not the type to express her emotions outwardly… Koma is mumbling curse words without hiding her frustration, and we’re heading back to our place.

“(Mumble, Mumble, Mumble)… At a place like this… Nee-sama… By such… By such lowest of th…”

“Koma… Sorry. My hand hurts a bit…”

“(Mumble, Mumble, Mumble)… They used the excuse that Nee-sama didn’t resist and got carried away…! There’s a limit to how much common sense you can lack…!”

Koma’s hands, trying to lead out, are extra strong and even painful. But… Even when I point this out, it doesn’t seem to reach Koma’s ears, and she never seemed to let up on it.

Koma seems too angry to hear me… What has made Koma so angry…? I don’t understand at all…

“….! Koma! Hey, Koma! Stop, stop! Look, we’re back at our place!”

“….. Eh? Ah, is that so. We’re back…”
“Let’s sit down for a minute! Hey! Let’s sit down together!”

“…Yes”

Like that, we arrived at our place. I don’t know what’s going on… I stopped Koma from walking past our place and had her sit on the seat to calm down.

“…….”

“… Ehm…. Ko-Koma? Koma-san?”

“………”

“Uuu…”

I succeeded in getting her to sit down, but it seems that her mood has not improved at all. She didn’t respond to my call, but fell silent in frustration as if she was thinking back on something. Due to that a cold, dark air pours from her to this place like a night-vigil weighs heavily on me.

Guu… This is bad, I’m not good at disturbing moods like this… I don’t understand why Koma is so angry… I’m at a loss, I don’t know how I should approach her as Onee-chan…

“E, etto… Ettoo… Ah! That’s right! Koma, you were thirsty, right? Koma, here’s your drink! Sorry that I made you wait, Koma!”

I couldn’t stand the silence for a few minutes, so I tried to lighten the mood by offering the juice I had just purchased, which I managed to bring home with one hand without spilling.

Somehow, please let this lighten up your mood, Koma-san…

“……..”
“Ehm, Koma…? You won’t drink… the juice…?”

I timidly offer the juice to Koma, but she doesn’t take it… She stares at me unflinchingly.

Wh-What is it… It would normally make me insanely happy to have Koma staring at me… But, today… She’s a bit, scary….

“… Anyhow, Nee-sama is Nee-sama.”

“He? Me… What’s wrong…?”

She looks at me for a few seconds, wondering whether she should say something or not, but as if she can’t stand it anymore she breaks the ice.

“It’s not what’s wrong. It’s about the pick-up artists from earlier…. Why at that time when they did such a terrible thing to you, you didn’t resist at all…?”

“Huh?”

Earlier pick-up artists? … Them? Koma, are you mad at me for getting involved with a pick-up artist…?

“Etto… I don’t know what to say even if you ask me… I was afraid that if I resisted, I might spill the drink I had bought…”

“…. Worrying about the drinks is trivial, isn’t it?”

“Eh? Trivial….?”

Koma’s voice quivers while talking. Is that so…? I think it’s important to stay hydrated in this hot weather…?

“Nee-sama’s own safety should be your priority, above all else, not drinks. There are plenty of drinks that can be replaced. But… Replacing… Nee-sama’s body… Nee-sama…”

“No, no, Koma. You see, most of the drinks are sold out at the beach house right now. It’s not replaceable…”

“… That’s not it… Nee-sama…”

I try to make excuses, but Koma’s voice gets more and more… And then her whole body shakes.

“… Even if you couldn’t resist. Even then… You could have at least screamed or called for help. There were lifesavers and other swimmers around. So why…? So why… Did Nee-sama let those people do that to you! In the first place, why didn’t you try to take me or Aunt-sama or Editor-sama with you…?”

She clenches her fists so hard that her nails dig in, clenches her teeth, bites her lip, and still asks me these questions in a painful way. Well… If you’re asking me why.

“That’s… I wouldn’t have a problem at all with what happens to me. And I thought there was no way anyone would look favorably on a hopeless twin sister like me, I guess…?” (TN: Makes sense, since she sees her so low that she thought nobody would ever look at her favourably. And it has become her default thought pattern.)

“~~~~~~~~!”

I try to be honest with her about what I thought about that question.

“My, I’m sorry, Mako, Koma. Sorry I’m late.”

“Thank you for waiting for us, you two. Don’t worry,  the three of them by myself and sensei were handle—-”

Just as I answered Koma’s question, Aunty and Editor-san came back… Immediately after.

*Slap*!

“””…. Eh?”””

Such a dry sound echoes in our ears.

For a moment, I didn’t know what had happened, but after the sound, I felt a burning pain seeping into my body from my cheek… Finally, I realize that I’ve been slapped by Koma in front of me….. Eh? Eh?

This surprised Aunty and Editor-san who watched the whole thing, and of course me who was slapped. Well, naturally. This was an unexpected action by Koma, who is the embodiment of a warm-hearted little sis who would never raise her hand against anyone. So it’s not unreasonable that the three of us, myself included, were surprised.

…. However,

“….. Ah? I… I… I-I… what did I…?”

More than anyone or anything else, the one most surprised here is… Seems to be Koma who had slapped me.

She looks strangely at her right hand and my cheek in turn… As soon as she realized what she had done, the angry expression she had been showing earlier changed completely. Blood drained from her expression.

“I-I… Raised my hand at… Nee-sama…? It’s a lie…”

“Ko-Koma…? Ehm… Are you okay….?”

“!?”

I’m trying to reach out to Koma, who is starting to shake in a different way than before, although I have no idea what’s going on. But Koma brushes off my outstretched hand and backs away as if frightened…

“!!!!”

“””……….”””

Before we can call her to halt, she turns her back on us and is off in a flash. It happened so fast that I, Aunty, and Editor-san couldn’t move from our spots.

“…. Haa!? Oi, Koma!? Wait, where are you going!? Komaa!”

The first one that came to their senses, and as expected was calling Koma… It was our guardian Aunty Meiko-san.

“Tch…! Shuu, sorry! Please look after Mako! I’ll go after Koma!”

“Understood, sensei. Call me if something happens. You can leave Mako-san to me!”

“Thank you! Then, I’m counting on you!——— Koma! I told you to wait! …. Aah, damn it. She’s fast as usual…”

Aunty is chasing after Koma that ran off after leaving me in the hands of Editor-san. Even though she’s usually like that, I’m grateful that Aunty is a good guardian in times like these.

On the other hand, me, Koma’s sister is…

“Ko… ma…”

…….. With my hand outstretched, I could only stand there, stunned, staring at the direction Koma had run off….

◇　◇　◇

As soon as I couldn’t see the back of Koma  anymore, I sat down on the spot and couldn’t move.

“…. Koma… why…?” (TN: You know why, you dolt. Just think!)

As I sit there, I think about the sequence of actions of Koma…. As I told the Editor-san, it’s not like Koma and I hadn’t had our fights. I’m aware that we’ve had our share of fights, just like most brothers and sisters.

… But. Most of our fights were just bickering, and I had never hit Koma or been hit by Koma since I was born.

In other words… It means that Koma was angry enough to put her hands on me for the first time.

…. I…. made Koma angry….? Koma… rejected me…? But why did Koma slap me….? What made Koma so angry…? Why wasn’t I able to chase after Koma who seemed to be in pain…? How did I hurt Koma…? How the heck did I hurt Koma…? What did I do wrong…?

“—–San? … Okay? Mako-san?”

My heart is filled with questions and regrets that go round and round. Why? Why? How? … I don’t understand. It hurts. No… no…! I don’t get it, I don’t get it.  I hate bad feelings… I hate it…! 

Even if the rest of the world rejects me, I don’t care about it at all. Just that… Just Koma… Just not getting rejected by my loved Koma—-

“Mako-san!!!”

“…. Eh?”

Just as my gloomy feelings of desperation were to overflow in my chest, I heard a voice calling out my name from above me as if it were breathing life into me.

“… Please come to your senses. What’s wrong?”

“… Editor-san…?”

When I look up fearfully, I see Editor-san. He says this to me in a clear tone that wakes me up while he quickly hands me what he was holding in his hand.

“I got some ice at the beach house. Anyway, let’s cool your cheeks first. If you leave them as they are, they will swell up later.”

“Ah… okay…”

He gave me a plastic bag full of ice. I do as the editor says and I put the cool ice on my cheek, which had been hit by the Koma, and the throbbing pain lessened a little.

And the coldness of the ice cooled the hot blood that was rising in my head…. Thanks to him, I’m starting to clear my head a bit, even though I was starting to panic… Calm down, be calm, me… Editor-san is right, what can I do if I’m so distraught?

“… Did you calm down a little?”

“Yes. Thank you a lot, Editor-san.”

“I’m glad. If anything happens to Mako-san, Koma-san and sensei will be very sad.”

Editor-san, who had been silently watching me for a while, called out to me after seeing that I had calmed down.

“Now, Mako-san. Meiko-sensei and I saw nothing but only from the middle, so we don’t know what exactly happened between the two of you… I know it’s painful for Mako-san but would you please tell me what happened… Would you? If I know what’s going on, I may be able to help you in some way.”

“… Yeah.”

Editor-san proposed this, and I recollected what had just happened between me and Koma.

I don’t know why Koma was so angry.

… But, maybe the Editor-san will understand something…

“—– That’s what happened…. The rest is just as Editor-san and Aunty saw it…”

“… I see.”

After I finished my explanation as if grasping at straws, Editor-san wrinkled his brow and pondered in silence for a while.

After a few minutes of thinking, Editor-san started talking to me.

“Hey, Mako-san. Mako-san… Doesn’t understand why Koma-san slapped you…?”

“… No, I don’t. I’m ashamed to admit it, but why was I slapped… Why was Koma angry at me… I don’t understand it at all. That. Does Editor-san know… why?”

While I’m ashamed I timidly ask Editor-san that. From his way of speaking… Editor-san seems to know the reason for Koma’s behaviour…

“Yeah. Of course, I’m not Koma-san herself, so I can’t possibly understand all of her feelings, and I’m probably just guessing…. If you still don’t mind about it, I’ll answer you the best I can…”

“I don’t mind it. Please tell me. Please, let me know.”

Anything is okay. Right now, I want to know even one thing or more about what I did wrong. While I’m thinking that, I bow to Editor-san and ask for help.

“… I understand. There are a number of reasons I can think of… I’ll start with the first… Mako-san. Mako-san has asked me previously ‘Won’t Editor-san be Koma’s bodyguard for the duration of our stay in the sea?’. Do you remember?”

“Eh? Yeah, naturally…”

I was suddenly asked about it. Well, I do remember it… What does that have to do with the fact that I was slapped by Koma…? 

“Then why did you ask me to be Koma-san’s bodyguard, Mako-san?”

“Eh? Why, you ask… Because I heard that Koma got involved with pick-up artists at lunch… I thought that Koma would be bothered by another pick-up artist… I was worried…”

“That’s right. You were worried about your little sis, whom you care for so much… I’m sure that Koma-san felt the same way as Mako’s anxiety.”

“……. Eh?”

I think about that for the first time when Editor-san tells me about it… Koma was just as worried as I was…. ?

“Koma-san herself was bothered by a pick-up artist, right? I’m sure she understood that disgust better than Mako-san did. That’s why Koma-san seriously warned Mako-san when Mako-san said, ‘I’m going to buy drinks,’ that it would be dangerous ‘Going alone’.”

“uuu…”

“In spite of this, Mako-san didn’t listen to her advice and went away… Koma-san’s anxious expression when Mako-san, the only sister she loves and cares for, heads to the beach house alone and unprotected… Mako-san should’ve seen it.”

Editor-san’s accusatory, slightly strong tone makes my heart ache.

Then, I… Koma had been worried so much about me, and yet I… I didn’t notice her feelings at all…?

“In the end, as Koma-san feared, Mako got involved with pick-up artists… And more importantly, you were subjected to such disgusting behavior by the pick-up artists… Those guys could have done a lot worse if they’d been left alone. Koma-san said, ‘Nee-sama is coming back too late. ……! Aunt-sama, Editor-sama! Let’s go check on her!’ I don’t know what would have happened if Koma hadn’t said that.”

“….”

“Despite that, Mako-san… After being shown the scene she had feared, Mako-san told Koma-san, who had tried so hard to help Mako-san, that ‘She had no problem with what would happen to her’…. Even the mild-mannered Koma-san couldn’t keep quiet when she heard that, could she? At least, I’d be angry if I were in her shoes.”

“…….. Uuuu”

Now that he mentions so much, I finally understand a little better…. Certainly, it looks as he says. I can’t believe I would say something like that to someone who cares about me without thinking…. There are limits to being an idiot… Then, it’s only natural that I’d get slapped for this…

“B-But… You know, Editor-san!? Because at that point in time, I never dreamed that there would be someone who would take a liking to a useless person like me—–”

“Mako-san.”

When I tried to make an excuse, the editor suddenly interrupted me with a strong tone, as if to imply I won’t let you say any more.

“Mako-san, that’s not allowed. I don’t know if it’s coming from a sense of humility or if you’re saying it with an ulterior motive… I don’t know that much. However, it is very bad to use such self-deprecating words recklessly.”

“… Yes?”

I’m having trouble following the subject I wasn’t expecting to hear. Etto… What is he talking about…?

“… That may be the reason why Koma-san was so angry. Mako-san, I’ve been wondering about this myself for a while… You are so defenseless and indifferent to your own affairs… And then, you’re too servile.”

“Defenceless and indifferent… And servile…? Is that how I look…?”

I’m not quite sure what Editor-san is talking about. I guess so… I’m not trying to be like that specifically…

“That’s how you dealt with the pick-up artists. You didn’t resist being touched at all or even feel disgust when you were touched… It was a little unsettling to watch.”

“No, no. I didn’t like being touched by those pick-up artists either?”

“… That’s simply ‘You didn’t want the drinks to spill’ isn’t it?”

“Guu…”

Editor-san pointed that out with reproachful eyes. No, well… That may be true, but…

“Basically, ‘I don’t mind whatever happens’—– That line coming out naturally at that point is not good. You need to take better care of yourself… Also, Mako-san, have you noticed it yourself? ‘Someone like me’ and ‘A hopeless person like me’, it’s becoming your favourite saying.”

“Is that… really how it is…?”

“Yeah, it is. How do I say it… It’s like telling yourself that you yourself aren’t good enough… I get that impression of you.”

“….!?”

Such a casual comment from Editor-san makes me feel like my heart has been grabbed.

“I think that Mako-san’s thoughtless habits and attitude are one of the reasons why Koma-san got so angry.”

Editor-san continuous on while I’m disturbed.

“You see, Mako-san. I think Mako-san’s humility is your strong point. Even though you have great skills and things to be proud of, you don’t get overconfident in your abilities, and you try to grow every day to become a better sister to Koma-san, right? That is extremely impressive, I believe… But, in Mako-san’s case you’re too humble that you’re servile. You have to realize that being overly servile can hurt not only you, but others as well.”

“I’m too humble… I can hurt other people…”

I contemplate Editor-san’s words… I’ve never thought of it like that.

“Mako-san. You said it yourself a moment ago. ‘I thought there was no way anyone would look favorably on a hopeless twin sister like me’. That’s the worst thing you said. I don’t know if you really don’t know, or if you’re deliberately pretending not to know, but the people who are looking at you favorably… They’re close to you. Closer than anybody else”

“Eh….?”

“And yet, Mako-san… Because you are so humble and self-depreciating, you don’t take the words ‘I love you’ from someone who cares about you seriously, and you respond, ‘It’s a joke that you love me’… Ignoring it. You cannot understand the true meaning behind the words of the people who’re kind to you.”

Editor-san speaks powerfully and deeply into my heart with every word. Someone who cares about me, close to me…

“I think that’s Mako-san’s greatest weakness as well. Mako-san it’s so dull it’s a sin… Because that is the same as disrespecting the strong feeling people have for you”

“Ehm, Editor-san. What do you mean by that….”

… I feel like I’ve just been told something amazing by Editor-san… If that’s true… Then, Koma got so angry that she slapped me… The main reason… In other words—–

“… I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve spoken too much.”
“Fue!?”

Editor-san apologizes with an awkward expression, as if he had said something a little too much.

“I won’t say anything more. If I tell you more than this… It won’t be fair in many ways. All that is left is for Mako-san to figure out on her own based on what I’ve said.”

“…. I get it.”

Speaking honestly, there’s a lot I haven’t figured out yet… But, Editor-san’s words were helpful…. Un, that’s right. I’ll have to figure out the rest on my own.

“Now. I’ve said everything I wanted to say to you… So, shall we get going, Mako-san?”

“Huh….? Go… Where?”

“Hahaha! Isn’t that obvious!”

Editor-sasn sitting next to me says that while standing up and then gives me a hand. Editor-san continued with a look that said ‘I don’t have to tell you.’

“I just got off the phone with Meiko-sensei… She says that Koma-san is in the cottage. Now, Mako-san, let’s go so you can reconcile!”

“! … Yes!”

 I thanked Editor-san in my heart for all the advice, and I stood up too… That’s right. I’m sure I have to do it on my own. The mistakes I made… I have to mend them myself. Now… Wait for me, Koma. Onee-chan will come soon.