~Side: Koma~
“………….”
I am alone in the corner of Mako-nee-sama’s room with my knees in my hands…
“…. I couldn’t reply back to her… I couldn’t say a single thing back to Chiyuri-sensei….!”
While gritting my teeth I mutter to myself. In the back of my mind, I replay the words of Chiyuri-sensei from earlier. It’s obvious why I couldn’t reply back. Because… Everything that Chiyuri-sensei pointed out was true…
‘You were diagnosed with prosopagnosia, and you knew that Mako-chan would care for you again… You’re relieved, aren’t you?’
… That’s right. I was certainly glad… Now, my Nee-sama can look only at me again… That I can have Nee-sama just for myself… I was glad…
‘The truth is, how you suddenly got your prosopagnosia… You have an idea why, right, Koma-chan?’
… Yeah. If it’s an idea, then I do have… Kanai-sama’s confession to Nee-sama and Nee-sama’s traumatic story, and then… Things related to Kaa-sama… I couldn’t endure all of those events happening…
‘Unlike Mako-chan, Koma-chan, you probably didn’t really try to cure your taste disorder deep down? Because it was more convenient for you not to heal it. Because If your taste disorder is healed… You fear that Mako-chan might leave your side’
… That’s right. I’m afraid… I’m afraid of that happening the most…
‘ I don’t know whether it was conscious or unconscious… You’ve been exploiting your constitution for years. So you can restrain Mako-chan to yourself’
… Stop, please…
‘Unfortunately, the way things are going, Koma-chan will continue to feel that way… And your taste disorder, and then this face blindness cannot be cured. Not only will they not heal… they will probably get worse. And more importantly—’
… Stop…
‘More importantly. You will never win Mako-chan’s heart if you try to keep her with such childish methods, Koma-chan.’
“Please, stop already….!?”
I should’ve kicked them out myself. There’s no one here but me… let alone Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-sama. The words of sensei ruminate over and over in my head with the vision of sensei. I unintentionally shout out loud with my ears covered.
“…. No more, please. I understand completely… I understand, that’s why…”
That’s right… I understand everything.
Why did I have prosopagnosia at this time? —– It’s simple. If I suffer from prosopagnosia… The ‘story of Kaa-sama’s remarriage’ and the accompanying ‘story of leaving Nee-sama and living without Nee-sama’, which have been troubling me of late, and maybe returning to a blank slate… And, most of all, I thought that if I became face blind, Nee-sama might be able to see me… more than ever before, just me.
I thought that if such an event occured, it would probably mean that ‘Kanai-sama’s confession to Nee-sama’ would never have happened…. My body responded to such a cowardly, vile, shallow and dirty mind in the form of face blindness…
Why has the taste disorder I have suffered from for the past six years not been cured to this day? —- This is simple too. Because I talked about wanting to be cured, but really wished I didn’t. Because, I didn’t really want to be cured.
Because if my taste disorder is cured… There would no longer be a reason for Nee-sama to kiss me…. And above all else, Nee-sama might leave my side… That’s why—-
“Both face blindness and taste order… Have the same cause. A tie(spell) to keep Nee-sama by my side—”
Nee-sama who feels indebted to me… She can’t refuse a kiss to restore my taste buds. If I become face blind, I am sure Nee-sama will be more concerned about me and be there for me than ever before.
Both taste disorder and prosopagnosia are… They are not inconveniences to be overcome… But something that was convenient only to me…
“…. I used them. Nee-sama’s kindness, her character, her debts and traumas, my position as her little sister, even my own constitution… I used all of it. Now and in the past… I’ve been using all of it…”
… It’s not like I wasn’t aware of it. I just turned a blind eye to it.
“…. And then, I just kept turning a blind eye to it… I understood too, then… As sensei pointed out… Even if you tied Nee-sama to me in that way…. I know I won’t win Nee-sama’s heart forever… That much, I understand…!?”
… The moment I say it out loud to myself again, it becomes so painful and painful that I want to cry. My body, my mind is screaming. Cold sweat pouring out like a waterfall, heart throbbing, hyperventilation… Stomach acid rising, and nauseating.
… If this wasn’t Nee-sama’s room. I would have vomited without hesitation…
“… I need to apologize to sensei and Sayuri-sama.”
I manage to hold it together without spitting it out and mutter under my breath. Once I have done my introspection and looked at myself… I’ve calmed down a little. No matter how much I’ve been pointed at… No matter how much I don’t want to hear it… I can’t believe I’ve kicked them out even when they came to see and examine me on their day off… I’m the worst…
Anyway, there’s nothing I can do about it if I’m sitting here alone with my knees tucked. Somehow, I managed to pull myself together and leave Mako-nee-sama’s room to apologize to them.
“… I don’t know what to say or how to apologize to them, but…”
I’m fearfully descending the stairs with heavy steps, thinking of ways to apologize. I went down to the ground floor and suddenly looked at the front door… I notice that Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-sama’s shoes are missing.
… Aah, I’m glad. Looks like they’ve already left.
“…. I’m glad? What on earth am I thinking…?”
I’m relieved that they aren’t here. And I scold myself for being relieved… I’m really the worst… I thought I left the room to apologize to them. And yet… I’m happy on the inside that they didn’t have to give me a stern talking-to again, or that I avoided the awkwardness of having to turn them away.
“I’m running from painful things again…”
I remember just a while back, my Mako-nee-sama told me that ‘Koma is strong’… You’re wrong, Nee-sama. I’m not strong at all… I’m really, really, this little—
‘—– Even Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-san have a bit of trouble with the problem of not being able to treat Koma’s face blindness”
“…..!”
I heard Nee-sama’s voice coming from the living room… What did Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-sama say to Nee-sama before they left? Chiyuri-sensei saw right through my evil intentions. If Chiyuri-sensei… She told my Mako-nee-sama about my evil intentions…
I get anxious and sneak up to the front of the living room to listen in.
‘It’s not like it’s an easy problem to solve. Just like with her taste disorder, we have to deal with it steadily.”
“Right. Sensei and Sayuri-san have given me some great advice, and I’m going to try some things.”
I’m eavesdropping on Nee-sama and Aunt-sama’s conversation. Great advice… What on earth did sensei tell her….?
“Also… What’ll you do about next month…?”
“Hnm… Unfortunately, the fact that the face blindness Koma is not treated… I can’t leave her… It’s really regrettable.”
… Mako-nee-sama sounds really disappointed. Next month? What’s happening next month?
If there’s one thing I can think of in the next month, it’s that one thing… ‘To live or not to live with Kaa-sama’’—- It’s the deadline for the answer—
“(…. Wait a moment. ‘I can’t leave Koma until she recovers from her prosopagnosia,’ Nee-sama said to me…? …..! Don’t, tell me…!)”
I think thoroughly about it and come to one conclusion. This… Nee-sama also knows about my mother’s remarriage and her story of living away from me… And then, Nee-sama… She also wishes to live from me…?
“What, Mako. You look like you’re in regret. You were looking forward to next month so much, weren’t you?”
“That’s right, that’s right! It’s natural I’d be in regret after hearing Aunty talking that much about it! Finally, free from pesky baggage… We were supposed to live just the two of us as I wanted!”
“Free from pesky baggage… That’s awful, you.”
“……!?”
‘Pesky baggage’, ‘Live just the two of us’—— Just those words from Nee-sama. It was like being hit in the head with a blunt instrument and I was convinced.
… As I thought, Nee-sama… She wanted to live away from me.
“(Thinking about it… It’s understandable…)”
I’ve been disturbing Nee-sama’s sleep for nearly four years, traumatizing her so terribly that she changes her bright, carefree self-esteem to the lowest, most servile character. For six years, without a break, she was forced to kiss someone she didn’t like on the mouth at every mealtime.
No wonder she hates it… It’s obvious that she wants to live apart from me.
“(Maybe, Nee-sama… talked about my evil intentions with Chiyuri-sensei?)”
So it’s only natural that she would want to live away from such a troublesome and lousy little sister. In fact, Nee-sama is probably too kind so she offers to stay with me until my prosopagnosia is cured…
“(I see… That’s how it was… I knew I was a burden to you, Nee-sama…)”
The moment it became clear. My world has turned gray… I’m happy just to hear words from Nee-sama’s mouth.
I’m ready now… I turned my back and went back upstairs, and this time to my room. I took a piece of writing paper from my desk… I will write my thoughts to Nee-sama.
“…. I did it.”
When I finished that letter, I went downstairs again. I left a letter addressed to Nee-sama at the door and was about to put my hand on the door… Even so, I sneaked my face out of the living room to catch one last glimpse of Nee-sama.
“…. ah.”
…. But that was already an impossible wish. The face of my Aunt-sama Meiko in the living room, nor the beautiful face of my beloved Mako-nee-sama, who I would say is the very essence of my world… I could no longer recognize them.
~Side: Mako~
“—– Even Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-san have a bit of trouble with the problem of not being able to recover from Koma’s face blindness.”
Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-san came to visit Koma for examination, who suffers from face blindness. After seeing them off, I… Tachibana Mako muttered with a sigh.
“It’s not like it’s an easy problem to solve. Just like her taste disorder, we have to deal with it steadily.”
“Right. Sensei and Sayuri-san have given me some great advice, and I’m going to try some things.”
Well, even though she couldn’t recover… I did get advice from sensei and then from Sayuri-san. I have to approach it in my own way and somehow cure Koma’s prosopagnosia.
“Also… What’ll you do about next month…?”
“Hnm… Unfortunately, the fact that the face blindness Koma is not treated… I can’t leave her… It’s really regrettable.”
Yeah, it’s really regrettable. It’s so bad that you can’t help but say twice that it’s regrettable.
… Hn? What’s happening next month? Aah, that is—-
~Mako recalling things 10 minutes ago~
‘So? Aunty, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear your rash remarks earlier, so get on with the story. What’s happening next month?”
‘Aah… Well, It’s not really a big story. Actually, from next month for some time— I was thinking that you and Koma could live together in this house.’
‘Fuun. I see, I see. You thought you were going to get me and Koma to live together? Fuun… Wait, what?”
Iurge Aunty to continue the conversation while resuming the preparation of tea cakes which were for the Chiyuri-sensei and Sayuri-san.Urged, Aunty introduces her story by saying that it was not a big deal… But, she started a story of tremendous importance to me.
‘Wa, wa, wait… Wait. Wait, Aunty. Could you repeat that? I and Koma… will what?”
“I said, I’m going to let you two live together in this house for a while. From next month, I’ll be travelling around Japan with Editor for interviews and signings, so I’ll be away from this house for a while. I’ll come home, probably… Maybe one or two months later.”
“….. Seriously?”
“Yeah, big serious… Well, I’ve explained to the Editor that I’m going to go there after the symptoms of Koma’s face blindness have subsided, of course, so…”
“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Koma… I’m going to live alone with Komaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
I stop preparing tea cakes and express my joy by making strange noises, unintentionally making a triumphant pose, forgetting that Koma had been examined by sensei and Sayuri-san.
My spring has comeeeeeeeeeeeee!
~Mako’s recalling ends~
—- Because of this, I was a bit disappointed to find out that sensei and Sayuri-san, who I had been relying on, couldn’t immediately treat Koma’s face blindness.
Uu… This means Aunty won’t be able to leave this house next month… This means that the dream of a happy, embarrassing and exciting life together with Koma is also off the table…
“What, Mako. You look like you’re in regret. You were looking forward to next month so much, weren’t you?”
“That’s right, that’s right! It’s natural I’d be in regret after hearing Aunty talking that much about it! Finally, free from pesky baggage… We were supposed to live just the two of us as I wanted!”
“Free from pesky baggage… That’s awful, you… I’ll cry? Even I’d want to cry?”
Aunty says that with teary eyes. Uun, nobody will be won by a charmless woman crying. This kind of thing should only be done by a cutie like my Koma!
“Anyway, unless I can do something about Koma’s face blindness, I won’t be able to start a loving honeymoon with Koma. I want to do something quickly for Koma and my sake.”
“It’s not really a honeymoon, it’s just living together, to be honest…. Well, let’s leave it at that. For me it’ll be a lot of trouble if Koma doesn’t get treated soon. I’ll cooperate fully this time, Mako.”
“Un, thank you, Aunty.”
This time, I’ll say it. I am grateful to Aunty, who is always cooperative towards us, for what it’s worth.
Now. First, where do I start from? Auntie and I racked our brains and started to think about what approach we should take to Koma’s prosopagnosia— Then.
*Cling*…. *Slam*!
“”…Hn?””
A door opened from the entrance, then it closed and the sound of someone running out of the house reached me and Aunty’s ears.
“… Just now… was that… Koma?”
“I think. That girl… Where’s she heading at a time like this?”
… Three people live in this house. Me, Koma and Aunty. Aunty and I are here so it’s definitely Koma that has left, but…
I rush out of the living room too and head for the entrance. At the entrance, there was already no sign of Koma, and a letter with the words [Mako-nee-sama] written in Koma’s lovely handwriting was placed there.
“Letter… addressed to me?”
I carefully open the letter so as not to tear it, although I have a bad feeling for some reason. This is what was written there.
“Mako-nee-sama. I love you, Nee-sama. But… No. That’s why we can’t be together anymore. Because if we continue like this, we will cause each other more trouble than ever before. It would cause Nee-sama more pain. I think I’ll pack my bags properly and officially leave this house by the promised next month. It may cause Nee-sama and Aunt-sama a lot of trouble for a while with procedures… But, please forgive me. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done till now. The days I spent with Nee-sama are a treasure for me. And then, I’m really sorry… I promise not to go near Nee-sama again. Please, Nee-sama with an amazing person…. Please be happy with a wonderful person like Nee-sama’s best friend, Kanai-sama. Goodbye, my loveable and most dearest Mako-nee-sama.”
“…….”
“Mako, what’s wrong!? What’s that…? Is it a letter from Koma? What did she write in it?”
“……..”
“…..? Mako? Mako, do you hear me? ….. Ma, Mako?”
“………..”
“… Wha!? This girl… She fainted while standing…!? Oi, oiii!? Get a grip on yourself, Mako!”
When I read that, my heart was broken.
Author’s notes: Unfortunately, she misunderstood. Koma surprisingly doesn’t listen to the end of what others have to say, and once she has made up her mind, she goes straight line. The part of you that assumes that this is the way it’s going to be, and then you take it upon yourself to do something wrong. She’s just like a certain someone in the way she assume things are going the way she thinks, and then she takes it upon herself to do things that are wrong. As expected of twins.
I apologise for the slow pace of updates lately, and for all the dark and painful developments. We’re almost there, we’re almost there and Mako should be able to manage everything, maybe.
Tintan 