HS Chapter 35: Hopeless sister, spoils her little sister.

“—Excuse me. I’m in 2nd year class A, Tachibana Mako and this is 2nd year class B, Tachibana Koma. I’m sorry but I want to give my little sister a well needed rest.”

“Aah, Tachibana-san. You came, I heard the story. Anyhow, you can have your little sister sleep on this bed here.”

My little sister collapsed in the middle of class; I princess carried her to the nurse’s room. When I arrive at the nurse’s office, I am greeted by the nurse, Koma’s homeroom teacher, and my homeroom teacher who had already been informed.

After putting Koma to bed, I briefly explain the situation to the teachers, and ask them to let me and Koma leave early.

“… I understand. As her homeroom teacher, I’ll call your guardian to let them know so don’t worry, Tachibana-san. I’ll bring Koma-san’s bag later.”

“Honestly speaking, I’m against Tachibana leaving early… Though, since the circumstances are like this, there’s nothing else that can be done. Next week, I’ll give you a special make-up class for leaving early, so make sure you take care of your little sister today.”

“Thank you so much teachers for your help…. By the way, I’d like to politely decline your offer of make-up lessons, my teacher!”

“Hahaha! Don’t be so shy, Tachibana!”

Thanks to the PE teacher who had already explained the whole situation to them on the phone, the explanation to the nurse and our respective homeroom teachers of Koma and me went smoothly in less than five minutes.

I was prepared that it might take a lot of time to explain, or that I might be mentioned in a strange way, but the teachers readily agreed to my request. I’m glad that our teachers are so understanding and kind.

So, with deep gratitude to the teachers for their kindness, I sit quietly on the bed in the nurse’s room where Koma is sleeping and wait for her to wake up.

“I’m sorry, Tachibana-san, I have to leave for a few minutes. If you need anything, call a different teacher.”

“Ah, okay. I got it.”

“I’ll be back in half an hour. I’m sorry for going at such a time.”

While waiting for Koma to wake up, the nurse said she has some business to attend to and goes out. There seems to be no other students resting in the nurse’s today, so it is just Koma sleeping in bed and me watching over her.

“u…nn….”

“….Koma”

I observe Koma’s sleeping face, and she seems to be in a bit of pain, though not as much as when she collapsed.

No… that’s a given. The rain is still beating down on the nurse’s room window, and the thunder is still rumbling in the distance. It’s impossible for Koma to sleep peacefully with such traumatic sounds flying around.

“… You’ll be fine, Koma. I’m right here.”

“….aa”

I’ll hold your hand like I used to in the past, to make you feel safe. She’s asleep but she squeezes my hand instinctively.

As I hold her hand, Koma’s expression becomes more relaxed than before, and I feel a little relieved. I put the blanket back on her so she wouldn’t be too cold and gently brush her bangs off her forehead so she could sleep a little more comfortably.

… It’s okay, you’ll be okay. That’s why… Take a good needed rest, Koma.

◇　◇　◇

“un… hmmm…”

“… Koma? You’re awake?”

It’s been about 10 minutes since I started watching her. Koma suddenly breathes long. When I whispered her name to her, her eyelids trembled a few times before slowly opening. 

Koma’s eyes were a little unfocused, but she looked straight at me.

“Onee-cha—No, Nee-sama?”

Ooh, she’s calling me as usual.

“Good morning, Koma. Looks like you’re awake. I hope you got some rest.”

“……? Ah, yesh… It’s been some time since I got a good rest…”

“I’m happy if that’s so.”

She seems to be sleep-deprived and half-asleep in her response. But it looks like she’s back to the usual Koma, not the old Koma like before. I can feel relieved for the time being.

“…Eh? Ah? Nee…sama?”

“Ye~ah, it’s your Onee-chan~”

“Where am I…? Also, why is Nee-sama…? Eh…? Eeh?? What happened to me…?”

In contrast to me, who is feeling glad, Koma is starting to become more conscious and seems to be confused about the situation.

Well, it’s only natural. She was supposed to be playing basketball just a few minutes ago, and then suddenly she finds herself on a bed in the nurse’s room, so it’s no wonder she’s confused.

“You’re in the nurse’s room. Do you not remember? Koma collapsed during P.E class…”

“Eeh? EH! I collapsed…? Also… during class…!? Then, the class—”

“Aah, oi, stay still Koma. Don’t force yourself to move.”

Koma tries to get out of the bed, but I hold her down and force her back on the bed.

“The nurse is out right now, so you don’t have to rush to get up. In the meantime, you should rest until the nurse comes, Koma.”

“But… I’ll be treated as skipping class…”

“Aah, don’t worry about that. Just to make sure, I told them we’ll leave school early to take Koma to the hospital. Of course, I’ll come with you, so don’t worry.”

“Leave early!?”

‘Leave early’. As soon as she heard that word, her face began to become pale.

“Lea-Leaving early!? I don’t have to do that! Also to have Nee-sama accompany me…! There’s no way I can…”

“Nope. You’ll rest properly today, Koma.”

“B-But!”

“Just so you know, I’ve already told the teachers about Koma and me leaving early, so there’s no way I can back out. So with that being said, I’ll take good care of you.”

“… Is that so…. I understand.”

I warn Koma. She seemed to want to say something, but after biting her bottom lip in frustration, Koma quietly lies down on the bed again.

…. I’m sorry, Koma, I’m such a selfish sister. I know you’re a hard-working, earnest, honor student, and you don’t really want to leave early or anything like that. But, I hope you’ll forgive me for making you rest today.

“… Ah. Nee-sama… your hand…”

“Hm? What’s wrong with my hand…?”

As I am apologizing in my mind, Koma suddenly looks at her own hand. I wondered what was going on, and when I followed her gaze, I saw that my hand and Koma’s were linked. 

“…That. Perhaps, while I was sleeping… you’ve been holding my hand the whole time?”

“Ah, un. Yeah, but… Do you hate it? If so, I’ll let you go.”

“No… If it’s okay with Nee-sama… I want to stay like this…”

If she thought it was annoying I would’ve let go, but Koma squeezes my hand tightly again. If I look closely, I can see that her hands are shaking, making her look somewhat weak… Is that so? Looks like I was right earlier to hold her hand. I’m really glad…

Now, I’m lucky that the nurse isn’t here, so it’s just perfect. I can talk to Koma without anybody listening to us. I hold her hand gently and take a deep breath. After calming myself down, I ask something that might be difficult to ask of Koma.

“Hey, Koma. I’d like to ask you something, if it’s fine with you.”

“? Okay, it’s fine…”

“Could the reason for why you collapsed earlier, and even before that, why you’ve been having trouble, Koma… Be the rain and thunder, I wonder?”

“….! How do you know th…!?”

I ask her as gently as I can, and Koma stares back at me with wonder while asking me back. Looking at her reaction, it seems my guess hit the bullseye.

“Well, to say it more precisely, it’s not the rain and thunder that are the direct cause. You hate the rain and thunder because it reminds you of what happened 6 years ago—–Am I wrong?”

“You… understand?”

“Un. More or less. You remember a bad memory from that time, right? That’s why it’s been painful for you for the past few days.”

“Yes…. That’s right…”

Koma affirms in a shaky voice, probably because she knows she’s been seen through. As I thought, it’s like that.

… Unable to forget what happened 6 years ago—- The day Koma developed a high fever and was left behind by our father and mother, which can be said to have been the beginning of her taste disorder that continues to this day… It was just this kind of disgusting rain and deafening thunder like back then.

Our parents did nothing but quarrel, forgetting about Koma who had a fever and went outside and left her without taking her to the hospital or giving her medicine. As her older sister I also went to school, and her fever and pain were increasing with each passing hour.

Whenever she got thirsty, she had to get up and go get a drink by herself because there was no one else in the house she could ask. However, her fever was so high that it was difficult to even get up from the bed, and she collapsed in the middle of the room, exhausted.

I wonder how Koma felt at that moment? I can’t imagine how painful it must have been for Koma, who was in elementary school at the time.

Fear of abandonment by our parents. The fear of rain and thunder that drowns out her voices of call for help with all her strength. And the fear that if she’d been found a few hours later she might’ve died—- It’s no wonder that the rain and thunder became a trauma to her.

I think back to the Koma that collapsed during the basketball class earlier. This is what Koma said back then.

‘–Onee-chan will sleep with me too… You won’t go anywhere? You won’t leave me alone… Like that, time…?’

I’m sure those are Koma’s true feelings that she has hidden. I think that’s what Koma really wanted to say to me since that day six years ago.

Maybe since yesterday… No, Koma may have been suffering since the beginning of June. During yesterday’s work at the Seijokai, and today it was hard to get her taste buds back for lunch. And those other times. Now that I remember, Koma has always been sluggish in June.

Maybe Koma was unconsciously sending SOS messages to me, too. At least, if I had taken proper action against Koma yesterday, when she was clearly acting strangely… 

Good grief. I’m so close to her and yet what have I been doing? Why was I unable to notice it?

I’m really a pathetic sister. I’m angry at myself. Really… Why am I such a hopeless older sister?

“… I’m sorry, Koma.”

“Ne-Nee-sama!? Eh… Eh!?”

I apologize to Koma and hug her. Koma seemed to become at a loss for words and became stiff at my sudden behaviour.

“I’m really sorry for taking me so long to notice. I’m sorry that I couldn’t understand you were suffering.”

“aah…”

“I won’t let you be alone anymore. I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to. That’s why, when you’re feeling pain or lonely… You won’t have to endure it by yourself!”

“Nee…sama…”

When I caress Koma on the back as I hug her, she eventually timidly hugs me back as well.

“As Koma already knows, I’m a hopeless older sister. That’s why… Would you tell me more? Where it is painful for Koma and what she wants me to do…. Or perhaps, you hate talking about it with me?”

“No! That’s not it at all! It’s just that…”

“Un, I understand. You can take your time, you can talk to me about it when you feel like it. I’m here… always for you.”

“Yes, yes…”

When I tell her straightforwardly how I am feeling at the moment, Koma seems to be heartily happy and puts more strength into her arms that hold me. I was worried that she’d think I was weird for hugging her so suddenly, but Koma didn’t seem to mind… I’ll just hold her like this for a while until Koma feels better. I’ve heard that hugging has a calming effect on the mind. 

… Just so you know, I’m not doing this because I have impure thoughts or that I think it’s a benefit.

◇　◇　◇

“… Normally, I’m fine with the rain falling and thunder.”

“…Un.”

I wonder how long I’ve held her. Suddenly, Koma begins to speak while on my chest.

Apparently, she had decided to talk about all the things she had been holding back. While holding Koma’s body gently, I decide to listen to what she has to say.

“It’s as Nee-sama said, since six years ago… My mood worsens every year in June. The sound of rain and thunder and lightning, which usually don’t bother me at all… That is…”

“When you see those lights and sounds… It makes you feel sick and makes you have a hard time concentrating?”
“…Yes”

… I didn’t know. Koma is good at poker faces and has a caring nature. She was probably trying to keep her composure so that she wouldn’t worry me or Aunty.

It’s vexing… I’m sorry I didn’t notice that you weren’t feeling well, and I’m sorry I didn’t even notice that Koma was caring for us…

“However, usually it’s not enough to make me collapse or panic. Of course, it’s painful… And with a little patience, I can endure it. This time… It’s probably because of my lack of sleep.”

“Lack of sleep?”

I remember  Koma’s comment yesterday during club activities ‘I can’t concentrate due to lack of sleep’. I see… That itself wasn’t a lie.

“It seems this year has a lot of rain and thunder… These past nights it has been raining and thundering with no stop”

“Aah, un. That’s right. Last night, it was pouring and rumbling very noisily.”

“Yes. Because of it, since I’ve entered June… I think I’ve been sleeping only two hours per day.”

“That’s all the sleep you’ve got!?”

Aah, that’s why she collapsed and panicked… Rather, how were you able to move that much during PE on that much sleep, Koma. It must’ve been very painful for you…

…. Hm? Wait a minute. While I’m satisfied with her explanation, another question comes to me.

“Hey, Koma. Koma is so bad at rain and thunder during the rainy season that she has trouble sleeping, right?”

“That’s correct. It’s embarrassing but it’s as you say… What about it, Nee-sama?”

“Aah, nothing. I was just curious. If that’s the case, I’m wondering how come I didn’t lose sleep last year or the year before. You were fine with it last year, am I wrong? What’s the reason for it?”
“!? Eetto… That’s…”

Why’re you hesitating to say it, Koma. She seems nervous, and even though we’ve been hugging, she blushes and quickly pulls away from me.

Eh? What’s with this reaction…? I didn’t ask any strange questions… Did I?

“Last year, there was little rain in the rainy season… And thunder didn’t fall much. That’s why last year I was fine!”

“Fumufumu, I get it. Also? How come the year before last, and ones before that, Koma was fine?”

“…auuu”

Koma is silent again at my question. I wonder if she can’t tell me about it?

She remains silent for a while, but when I look at her as if I am persecuting her, she lets out a sigh and starts talking again.

“…Because. Because until the year before last, together…”

“Together? What? What do you mean?”

“That’s. Until the year before last, I slept together with Nee-sama…”
“……..Eh?”

Together with me…?

“That’s why! …. Until the year before last, I slept in the same bed with my sister, so I was fine! While I was sleeping, Nee-sama was holding my hand… I was able to sleep peacefully!”

“~~~~~~~~!”

Not only her cheeks, but even her ears turn red as she makes such a bombshell comment…. Oh my gosh. *Kyun* my heart. So cute, as I knew, my little sis is the cutest in the world!
While I am writhing in agony, almost flying away at such an adorable confession from Koma… Haa, she sighs again and her expression becomes gloomy.

“… I am pathetic. I’m a junior high school student and I can’t even get over this level of trauma, and I’m causing trouble for Nee-sama… I can’t believe I’m exposing myself to my sister in this embarrassing way…”

“Huh?”

Eh? Troubling me? What? When? I manage to bring my soaring spirit back to my body and listen to Koma’s murmurs.

“I thought I’d be able to get over it already. And yet… I wasn’t able to control myself and collapsed…”

“…Koma? What are you even talking about?”

“…And I have to leave early. I even involved Nee-sama and caused her trouble… I’m already bothering you with my taste buds.”

“….”

As if she is in desperation, the self-deprecating words are pouring out of Koma’s mouth and she can’t stop them.

With this confession, the anxiety and fear that had been pent up in Koma and she could not tell them to anyone seemed to burst and gush forward…

Why? Why do you say such lonely things? I got a bit pissed by the words that came out of Koma’s mouth.

“This isn’t working… I understand it… I have to try harder… I need to get firmer…  Otherwise, Nee-sama might come to hate me… And she’ll abandon m—-”

“Eii!”

“Nphu!?”

… It’s okay to feel weak. You are also welcome to share your painful feelings with me. However… I won’t allow you to say such stupid things. As if I’ll let you!
Without giving her any room to argue, I shut up Koma’s words with my mouth.

“Ne,Nee-hyama… What are you…”

“Hmn… Shut up, Koma.”

It was as if she hadn’t expected me to act that way, and her eyes became even more surprised and her body even more stiff than when I hugged her just a few minutes ago.

“—*Puha*. Thanks for the treat, Koma.”

“Ne, Ne, Ne, Ne… Nee-sa, Nee-sama!? The kiss just now….!?”

“Ahaha, how is it? Surprised?”

“…. I thought my heart would stop.”

It only took less than 10 seconds, and our lips just touched, and is so much lighter than the taste-returning kisses that I usually do. But, it seems this kiss was effective for the current Koma. The gloomy expression on her face is safely gone, and she’s holding her chest and lips, feeling nervous, but she manages to take a deep breath and try to calm down.

Oh my. I’m sure she’s used to kissing her every day before every meal, but this is the first time I see this reaction… I can’t get enough of you, Koma.

“Sorry, sorry. Well, you can think of the kiss as a punishment for saying something strange just now. If you say something strange like that again, I’m going to stick my tongue in your mouth and make a mess out of Koma, so be prepared.”

“…. (*Mumble*)… That’s a reward, Nee-sama…”

While apologizing to sudden sexual harassment to Koma, I caress her head and return to the topic that almost got derailed.

“You know, Koma. I want you to understand at least this much… I’ll never abandon Koma. I don’t hate you either, Also, I think that you haven’t bothered me at all.”

“Wh?”

“Because, I think I was happy today. It’s been some time since I’ve done something like an Onee-chan to you.”

It really has been a long time till now that I’ve done something sisterly… After all, I’m the older sister and I’m a complete mess, but Koma is the younger sister and a perfect superhero. Thanks to that, I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve been able to do sisterly things…

Better yet… I feel like I won’t have to even count on my fingers. Anyhow, I’m a self-professed pervert and hopeless, and today I was hugging, sniffing, and moaning over Koma without noticing that she was sick at all—-Thinking about it, am I not out already?

Leaving that aside.

“It’s fine to be selfish. It’s okay to rely on others… You can be more spoiled. Otherwise, I’d be lonely.”

Koma has always been a talented child. She’s obedient and steady. That was Koma. She was rarely spoiled or selfish to me or to her protective aunt, and because she was too good at everything, she rarely relied on us.

However, I… I want to spoil Koma more, I want to do more sisterly things.

I want Koma to bother me with her unreasonably selfish requests.

Why, you ask? That’s decided. I’m Koma’s only Onee-chan!

“But… To be spoiling me, I don’t know about the past but to be doing that now…”

“What are you saying, Koma. No matter how old we get, Koma is the younger sister and I’m your Onee-chan, right? The older sister spoils her younger sister! That’s what the law says, don’t you know?”
“….Nee-sama. What world’s law is that?”

It’s the law of the world between me and Koma.

“Well, leaving jokes aside… I want Koma to be more selfish and unreserved towards me. I want to spoil you!”

“aah…”

I say that to make Koma feel a little more at ease, to make her forget her bad feelings a little more, and to make her feel a little more pampered—-I hug Koma again on the bed in the nurse’s room, while wishing for it.

When Koma is being held again, she seems to be lost in thought for a while.

“… You won’t abandon me if my best is not enough…?”
“I won’t, ever. If anything, I think I’m too much of a hopeless Onee-chan and I’m worried that Koma, who’s always trying to do her best, will abandon me.”

“… You won’t hate me for causing you trouble?”
“I don’t know when Koma caused me trouble, and in the first place I’ll never hate Koma.”

“… Is it really okay for me to be… selfish?”

“Un. I want you to be selfish and say whatever you want.”

When I say that, Koma hugs me back with trembling hands,

“…. Tonight, that. Can I sleep together with… Nee-sama? I forget about the rain, thunder and bad memories all together… Is it okay with you to hug me tight as you are doing now…?”

The same shivering voice makes such a cute plea…. Uu~n, I’m full. There’s only one answer to that kind of begging.

“—I’ll do it with pleasure.”

I whisper softly in Koma’s ear and put strength into my arms that hold her in my arms and approve.

… Sorry, Koma. Unlike Koma, I’m a mess academically, athletically, and behaviorally, and I don’t have a shred of sisterly charm. That’s why you haven’t been relying on me until now.

I’ll work hard from now on. I’ll do my best to become a great Onee-chan that Koma can be proud of and that she can naturally rely on. I’ll do my best to get rid of Koma’s taste disorder and Koma’s trauma all together. I’ll do my best to be an Onee-chan that can be of help to Koma always.

With this determination in my heart, I continued to hug Koma until the nurse came back.